A Boy & His Box: How To Make a Goonie


Goodmorning Ladies!

Today I is gunna show you how to makes your own best friend. It's easy. So easy that I can do it! Click one of these links, I'm not sure which one, maybe the one with Multimedia on it or one of them direct ones if I can figure them out.... hmm....ummmm... Just click on "Read More".

Goodnight Madam





1. Materials needed:
-1x Box Wine (make sure the nozzle opens in the centre...otherwise you have to drink the original one you bought quickly then buy another)
-1x Bega District News (I guess other newspapers might work though)
-1x Old toy (preferably stolen from a childcare centre)
-Paint brushes
-Paints
-1x Texta
-1x pair of scissors
-1x strong glue (sniffing is not recommend but damn is it fun)

Also take note of the Alphabet of Manliess in the background, any real man must own this.



2. Take your scissors and cut the arms off the stuffed toy



3. Watch and laugh as the toy slowly dies.



4. Open the Wine Box and remove the bladder



5. Take a big long swig

Cut 2 slits in the sides of the box and poke the arms through, then glue them in place.



6. Replace the bladder and pull the nozzle through its hole.



7. Mix together your paints to get the desired colour.



8. Stop and eat some left-over KFC.



9. Glue the top of the box shut again and use something with enough weight to hold it in place until the glue sets... I suggest a second box of goon, works wonders.



10. Continue to paint the entire box and arms

Give the box a second coat of paint one the first one has been allowed to dry



11. By now your box should look something like this.



12. Once the box is dry, take your texta and draw on two, count them, TWO eyes.



13. Then paint the white of the eyes.



14. Have a piece of Blackberry pie and Icecream while you wait for the white paint to dry.



15. Take the black paint and a fine paint brush and carefully paint the outline and pupils of the eyes, try to keep your arm still, sure this is hard when you've been drinking.



Voila!! your very own Goonie the Goon Box

Leave the mess for somebody else to clean up and have yourself a swig in celebration.





And another...



Then have a nice relaxing sleep, you've had a busy day whippersnapper!